


Kanda’s Terrible Past (and the annoying present it’s created)

by Rennaren



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But pretty much canon compliant still as of chapter 230, Gen, Humor, Post Current Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 15:59:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16498628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennaren/pseuds/Rennaren
Summary: Kanda has never been one to seek out the notice of others, preferring to keep to himself and keep everyone at a safe distance. With a few exceptions, like the dumb rabbit or the beansprout, for the most part it's never been that difficult to do. What he had never counted on though was what the revelation of his past might do to make keeping others, namely an overly persistent finder, at arms length more difficult and all the extra trouble it would cause him.





	Kanda’s Terrible Past (and the annoying present it’s created)

**Author's Note:**

> This story assumes a future in which Allen is able to retain possession of his body, where Lavi is rescued still in one piece, and where both they and Kanda return to the Order safely.
> 
> Happy reading! :)

Kanda’s grip tightened on Mugen as he walked down the hallway of the Black Order, purposefully keeping his eyes locked on the space in front of him. The feeling of eyes following him made his spine tingle and his skin crawl, even as he resolved to ignore the sensation for the time being, along with the faint whispers that permeated the air before cutting off abruptly whenever he came within earshot.

He was beginning to have second thoughts about being in a place as public as the Order’s dining hall given the way people in his vicinity had been acting recently. But unfortunately eating occasionally was a necessity and at least in there people would have something else to potentially occupy themselves with, besides staring and whispering behind his back when they thought he didn’t notice them. To be honest Kanda still hadn’t figured out with certainty what was causing such a reaction, not that he really cared apart from the general annoyance of being stared at, but truthfully it had only been a short time since he had returned to the order after being absent for three months as well as having been declared dead. Still given Kanda’s history, and the very nature of his existence though unknown to most, his coming back from the dead really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone at this point. It had happened more than enough times already for the novelty of it to have worn off. 

Once inside the Order’s expansive dining hall Kanda made his way over to the window that separated the kitchen area from the rest of the room, placing an order with Jerry for his usual meal of soba. While he waited for Jerry to prepare it Kanda folded his arms across his chest once again trying to block out the eyes he could feel focused on his back and ignore the whispers that were just managing to reach his ears with enough volume to make out several voices in conversation behind him. 

“...You know Goz has always had a weird admiration for him ever since that mission in Dankern they ended up on together. …He probably just thought it’d make him seem like less of a jerk.” 

“…No it’s true, David can confirm it. …He just got back from the North American branch, said he overheard it from one of the people that was there when it happened this time around.” 

“…And they still made him an exorcist after that? …I know the great generals are in charge, but what makes them think they can trust him not to turn on everyone after he killed the other Second.”

“Don’t know,… It makes sense though, I mean it’s not like he’s ever given any of the other exorcists or us finders the time of day. It’s pretty obvious that people’s lives don’t mean anything to him.” 

“No kidding. That long haired freak’s always been the meanest bastard in the Order. …Turns out he’s not even human…”

Kanda’s head shot up in surprise as he finally realized exactly what was being discussed. Grinding his teeth Kanda prepared to turn, fully intending to remind the prattling finders exactly why he possessed the reputation he did, but before he could act Jerry placed his tray of soba on the ledge of the serving window with an overly cheery. “Thanks for waiting! Here’s your usual!”

The momentary interruption gave Kanda enough time reconsider and to come to the conclusion that starting a confrontation would draw more attention to the subject of discussion than what he wanted. Letting out a breath in an aggravated sigh Kanda decided to let the finders get away with it, this time. But that wouldn’t stop him from giving them a look that would leave them with the certainty that he knew exactly what they had been talking about, and were lucky to have escaped intact, when he walked by their table. Kanda had just picked up his tray of Soba and was starting to turn toward the tables when he was hit from behind, his tray falling then sliding away across the floor with a clatter as a set of arms wrapped themselves around his upper body, pinning Kanda’s arms to his sides.

“Mr. Kanda! I can’t believe you’re back!” shouted the voice of the large blond haired finder who was currently gripping Kanda from behind in a bear hug, pulling him off the ground so that Kanda’s toes barely brushed the floor. 

Pure shock kept Kanda still for the moment it took for the large man’s cry to turn into a sniffle as he ducked his head, pressing his face against Kanda’s back as he began weeping. 

“I heard all about what happened!” continued Goz through his sobs, his grip on Kanda unwavering in it’s strength. “… All about you and Alma Karma! It’s so sad!!” 

Kanda had been about to wrench himself free when he suddenly felt as if all the air had been punched from his lungs at the mention of Alma’s name. _…What?! …_ thought Kanda freezing in place as his eyes widened visibly.

Goz continued babbling through his tears with varying levels of coherency while Kanda remained in his hold, Kanda’s thoroughly disrupted thoughts having come to a standstill as his brain fought to restart itself and make some sort of sense out of the situation.

As the larger man’s tears began to soak into the back of his shirt Kanda’s barely functioning brain decided to supply him with at least one bit of information, which was of debatable usefulness, finally allowing him to place the man’s identity. _…Ah, that’s right. ...The finder from the incident with the ‘witch’…_

“…Hey, I think he broke Yuu!”rang out Lavi’s voice from near the dining halls doors, where he and Allen had come to a stop when they caught sight of the scene taking place in front of the ordering window.

The sound of Lavi’s rather annoying and overly loud voice served to break Kanda out of his stupor. He suddenly realized that not only had had been standing frozen, caught in this ridiculous position for far longer than he would have ever desired or allowed normally, but that the stupid rabbit’s shout had drawn the attention of anyone who hadn’t already noticed that something was happening. 

“Let go of me!!” growled Kanda striking out behind himself with an elbow as he twisted to wrench his shoulders out of the larger man’s grip. Turning Kanda followed his elbow jab with a shove that was forceful enough to send Goz staggering backward several steps toward the table where the group of finders who had been gossiping earlier were seated. 

Goz’s arms windmilled through the air as he fought to retain his balance, before catching himself on one corner of the table as he stumbled into it. Still blubbering Goz wiped at his streaming eyes with the sleeve of his free hand as he began apologizing, of all things. “…I-I’m sorry Mr. Kanda… It’s just so terrible! …For that something like that to happen. …For two little kids to be forced to-…” 

“Shut! Up!” snapped Kanda fighting against the heat he felt crawling up the back of his neck toward his ears, as a wave of fury and embarrassment swept through him. Forcing himself to walk forward at a normal pace now that he was free from Goz’s grip, Kanda’s fingernails dug into his palms hard enough to draw blood and leave behind crescent shaped marks. He fought against the urge to tear out of the room, deciding that it would look too much like he was running away.  
Aiming an infuriated kick at his fallen tray of soba as he passed it Kanda pointed himself toward the dining hall doors, distantly hearing the sound of the dish shattering against the stone of the wall as he shoved past Allen and Lavi where they stood just inside the door, and out into the hallway.

Kanda strode through the halls of the Black Order barely aware of the way people moved out of his path, as if there was some dark thunderhead hanging over him to signal that Kanda’s mood was even worse than usual and warn them away from attempting to interact with him. Upon reaching his room Kanda yanked the door open, slamming it closed behind him before slumping back against the wooden door as he slid down to sit on the floor in front of it. Tipping his head back with his eyes closed and knees drawn up to his chest Kanda waited for the flood of emotions that the idiot finder’s words had brought forth to subside. It was ridiculous the way he was reacting, after all it wasn’t as if he hadn’t already grieved over Alma’s death for a second time. Months had passed by now, yet just hearing Alma’s name being spoken out loud made him feel as if the wound was still fresh. It left Kanda feeling uncomfortably raw, and vulnerable, and he hated the sensation.

Baring his teeth in a soundless snarl Kanda reopened his eyes as he brought his chin down, his eyes moving over the spartan furnishings of his room before fixing themselves unseeingly on the lotus filled hourglass that sat on a small table. Kanda frowned as his thoughts continued, the emotion that had inundated him earlier was beginning to ebb, allowing for greater clarity. _…Just how had that idiot finder found out about his past, about Alma and the Second Exorcist Project, anyway? It wasn’t likely that the Order had intended for that information to become public now. Even after all these years had passed… and now that maybe, finally, the idiot brass at the top had learned their lesson now that their Third Exorcist Project had backfired on them as well._

Kanda shook his head, snorting in distain. It wasn’t as if it was really that important to him to know how, especially if it meant having to talk to the man long enough to find out. 

 

Goz sat on the edge of the lower bunk of one of the two bunkbeds that were in his shared room. At the moment the room was empty, with his roommates currently occupied by other activities within the order or out on missions. Normally Goz would have disliked the solitude, but this time he appreciated the time alone to calm down and sort through his thoughts. 

When news of Kanda’s death had begun to circulate around the Order Goz had been devastated. Theoretically he knew that any of them, finders or exorcists, could be lost at any time. Still after having seen him in action at Dankern, Kanda had seemed to Goz as if he were particularly indestructible.  
It had made Kanda’s death seem even more shocking and was why, when Goz had overheard a couple of scientists mention Kanda’s name while he had been in the science section dropping off a piece of innocence recovered on a recent mission, he had been unable to stop himself from lingering long enough to find out what was being said.

Tears began to trickle down Goz’s cheeks once more as he recalled what he had overheard that day. He had barely managed to exit the lab before he had broken down crying. At first the other finders had teased him a bit while trying to calm him down and find out what had upset him, they were all aware by now of just how easily Goz cried. As Goz had begun pouring out what he had learned about Kanda and the other second exorcist, the others had been confused and skeptical at first before withdrawing a bit from their attempts at consolation. Too many of the finders or their friends had met with the caustic edge of Kanda’s tongue for them to be very sympathetic toward the exorcist. Goz’s attempt to explain a potential reason for Kanda’s past behavior made little difference in their feelings.

It had hurt and frustrated Goz somewhat, but he did understand. It wasn’t as if the knowledge would make any difference with Kanda dead anyway. Later he had found out that Kanda was in fact alive and had been seen at the Asian Branch briefly before leaving again in pursuit of Allen Walker, who had escaped from the Order shortly after Kanda’s own disappearance. When he had learned of it Goz had been overjoyed at the news that Kanda had in fact survived. After that the next time Goz had seen Kanda, had been in the dining hall earlier. 

Goz sighed letting his head droop down, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he looked down at his clasped hands. If he had been thinking Goz knew that reacting the way he had was probably a mistake, but he had been overwhelmed at seeing the exorcist again, knowing all that he did about Kanda now. After all even though Goz had noticed hints of Kanda’s good heart when they had worked together in Dankern the exorcist had been clearly abrasive as well. And similarly to the events then, Goz was feeling frustrated by his inability to do anything about the suffering of another.

Running his hand through the long fringe of his hair that hung over one eye Goz pushed it back from his face as he continued thinking. If it had been one of his friends or the other finders, after having found out about something so tragic having happened to them, Goz normally would have tried to console them if needed and otherwise have made sure to spend time with them so that they wouldn’t feel that they had to go through their pain alone. But this time he wasn’t sure what he should do.  
In the handful of times he had seen Kanda in passing at the Order the exorcist had always seemed to resist companionship, choosing to eat at unoccupied tables as far from others as possible and apart from sparring, which was usually done with the few people that he was most often assigned on missions with, was otherwise always seen alone. 

Still even if Kanda wouldn’t accept friendship or company, there had to be something that he could do. Nothing Goz could do would change what had happened in the past, but there was no reason that he couldn’t find a way to do nice things for Kanda in the present. Maybe it wouldn’t make a difference or make things any better for the exorcist, but he was still going to try. 

With his mind made up Goz scrubbed at his face with his sleeve one last time, before getting to his feet and heading out of his room, resolved to put his plan into motion.

 

Kanda’s lips twisted into an annoyed grimace as he approached his room, the sense of calm he had achieved after a session of meditation vanishing as he spotted a small, brightly colored bag tied with a ribbon leaning against the door. Though he wasn’t close enough yet to make out the exact contents of the package through the translucent film, Kanda already had a pretty good idea of what it was. After all this bag was only one of many that had materialized outside his room over the past week or two, so far only the first one had provided any clue to the identity of the person who had left it, though the attached tag had been unsigned. Reaching his door Kanda glanced down both sides of the corridor before bending to pick up the package, holding it in one hand as he debated on what part of the Order would be the least occupied at this time of day so that he could get rid of it and avoid the unwanted interest and speculation of others. Since the bags of assorted sweets had begun appearing Kanda had taken to disposing of the packages in various waste receptacles around the Order to make sure that they couldn’t be traced back to him.

Looking up from the ribbon tied bag in his hand Kanda thought he saw for an instant, a broad shouldered silhouette shadowed on the wall by the illumination at the entrance of the corridor across from his doorway. Turning quickly Kanda had fully expected to see someone standing across the hall, but it seemed that whoever had cast the shadow had made an almost unbelievably fast exit. Instead he found his attention being drawn away toward the left side of the hallway by the sound of an approaching pair of voices. Rounding a corner Lavi and Allen came into view, the red head’s expression brightening as he caught sight of Kanda, and bounded toward him. 

“Hey Yu! We’re headed to the cafeteria, wanna come with us?” called Lavi as he came up to where Kanda stood, glancing down at the package in Kanda’s hand. “Hey… What’s that you got there?”

“Don’t call me that! …And it’s none of your business!” snapped Kanda, his grip tightening enough on the bag for it to make a crinkling sound under his fingers. 

“Ooh, looks like someone has an admirer.” Lavi laughed, making an attempt to snatch the package out of Kanda’s hands as the swordsman turned to keep it out of the red head’s reach, bringing up an arm to block his outstretched hands. “Come on Yu, let me see who it’s from!” 

By now Allen had joined them as well, squinting a bit as he tried to make out the contents of the package through the translucent wrapping. “…It looks like,… cookies?” 

“What did I just say about it being none of your business Beansprout?!” gritted out Kanda feeling a vein beginning to throb in his forehead the longer he had to deal with both the idiot rabbit and the beansprout at the same time, rather than simply disposing of this package as he had the others and retreating to his room in peace.

“Really?” said Lavi looking over at Allen for a moment before returning his attention to Kanda and his mysteriously received gift. “But I thought you didn’t like sweet things Yu.”

“I don’t!!” retorted Kanda in a volume barely shy of an actual shout, his grip tightening enough to begin crumbling the package of cookies. His fingers itched to draw Mugen, but unfortunately both hands were currently occupied between holding off Lavi with one arm and the package itself, which though he had no actual interest in it he also had no intention of letting Lavi take it so easily. “Now leave me alone!”  
A few more minutes of struggle ensued as Lavi continued trying to take the bag of cookies away from Kanda, before Allen intervened as the force of Kanda’s grip on the package strengthened in his irritation.

“Take it easy BaKanda! …You’re crumbling the cookies!” chimed in Allen reaching past Kanda’s defending arm while he was distracted by Lavi to try to pull the ribbon tied bag out of Kanda’s hand. “Just because you don’t like them, there’s no reason to let them go to waste.”

Finally losing all patience with this ridiculous version of keep away Kanda relented, shoving the bag of cookies at Allen’s chest, hoping that he had managed to smash every single one. “Fine! You want them so badly then take them!” 

Spinning on his heel Kanda stormed down the hallway, away from the idiot pair and his room, far too agitated by now to even think about relaxing. He hoped that an intense workout would be enough to allow him to calm down once more. Behind him Kanda could hear the sound of the bag crinkling noisily as Allen began to undo the ribbon holding it closed. 

“…Woah, hold on Allen.” came Lavi’s voice a few moments later, his words indicating that Allen had likely already begun devouring the cookies with his usual appetite. “You don’t know what might be in those things. After all someone left them for Yu, they could be poisoned or something.” 

Kanda scoffed soundlessly, considering who he believed the source of the package was, poison was definitely not something that would need to be worried about.

 

A resounding chorus of the various forms of ‘No’ in every language he knew it in filtered through Kanda’s brain at the sight of what confronted him.

 _The sickeningly sweet treats left outside his room had been bad enough, but this was…_ Words to provide adequate description failed Kanda as he stared down at the vase containing an arrangement of cut flowers that sat outside his door.

Having just returned from a mission Kanda had wanted nothing more than to return to his room briefly to change out of his uniform before unwinding with a long training session. Instead he was being confronted with a profusion of, Kanda paused, his eyes narrowing a bit as he picked out the small blue flecks of starflowers, the purple hue of heather, and bright flashes of orange gladiolus, tucked in amid red peonies, pink tulips and sprigs of yellow fennel.

Forget subtlety. Forget trying to figure out how to transport the garishly multi-colored abomination of flowers through the Order unnoticed so he could dispose of it like the other junk. He was going to get rid of it right now.

Snatching up the vase from the floor, Kanda crossed the hall in a few quick strides to wrench open the window across from his door. Taking a half step back once the window was fully open Kanda drew back his arm and pitched the vase of flowers out the window with as much force as he could muster, imagining that he was tossing that idiot finder out the window instead.

The sound of the vase shattering on the cobblestone path outside was strangely satisfying, dulling the sharp edge of Kanda’s anger as he leaned out the window a moment later to look down at the wreckage below.

Bits of colored glass glinted in the fading sunlight between ruined blossoms, which had lost petals in the fall. Those petals were now being blown away from the scene of the impact by a slight breeze, spreading themselves across the ground.

A faint smile curved Kanda’s lips for a moment as he withdrew his head reaching out to pull the window closed and lock it once more before turning back toward his room.

The ridiculous finder’s gift apparently wasn’t without its uses after all. Even though destroying it the way he had was less subtle than the means Kanda had been using to get rid of the offerings left outside his door up to now, the release he had felt doing so this time had left him more relaxed than he had been upon seeing the vase initially. Relaxed enough that he was actually considering taking the time to have a meal as well instead of simply training until he was exhausted enough to sleep.

 

He was done.

Kanda glared down at the potted plant that sat outside his door as if the force of his glare could cause it to wither out of existence. When the mysterious appearance of things outside his door had stopped for nearly the whole of the past two weeks Kanda had thought that the annoyingly persistent finder had finally taken the hint, after several more vases of flowers met an untimely end on the stones below, and given up on whatever it was he was trying to do.

Of all the gifts that had been left so far, this one struck the closest to something that Kanda under other circumstances might have actually liked having. The thought made Kanda’s glare intensify as he bent to pick up the pot holding it at arm’s length in one hand, his lips twisting in revulsion. He did not even want to know how the finder had managed to find out that he had an interest in gardening, though he had little time to actually spend on it since he spent so much of his time being sent from one mission to another.

Muttering under his breath Kanda turned toward the window, stepping across the hallway he pushed it open, intending to give the potted plant the same treatment as the vases of flowers. Shifting his grip on the clay pot Kanda was preparing to launch the plant out the window when he paused, hesitating as he looked down at it. Unlike the cut flowers in vases of water, this plant was still living and seemed to be reasonably healthy still in spite of having been plucked up from wherever the ridiculous finder had gotten it. While the principle of the thing still nagged at the back of Kanda’s mind, he thought about how much difficultly might actually be involved in just replanting the thing, tucking it away in some corner of the Order’s grounds rather than pitching it to its demise like the others.

“Just your rotten luck getting picked up and carried off by that bleeding heart finder huh?” murmured Kanda out loud raising the potted plant slightly for a better look at it. 

“No,… wait Mr. Kanda! …Don’t-…!” shouted a voice from behind Kanda.

He turned just in time to see Goz trip over an uneven spot on the floor as he ran toward where the exorcist stood in front of the open window. Kanda only managed to get out a surprised sound before the larger man collided with him, the potted plant that had been in Kanda’s hand hitting the stony ground with a loud crash, as the impact overbalanced both men. 

Only Kanda’s quick reflexes managed to keep him from plummeting out the window entirely, as he managed to keep one leg hooked over the edge of the window sill and snag the edge of the frame with one hand. Unlike Goz who now dangled by one hand beside Kanda, letting out scared whimpers as he struggled to pull himself up enough to get a grip on the window sill with his other hand. 

Kanda gritted his teeth as he eased his grip on the window frame downwards, until he was able to stretch over enough to grab the wrist of Goz’s flailing arm. Pulling upwards Kanda kept a grip on it until Goz had managed to get one arm draped over the window sill to be able to pull himself back inside. Levering himself back inside Kanda fell to his hands and knees in front of the window, fighting to catch his breath after having narrowly escaped a fall that could have left him seriously injured for quite some time or worse given the way his regenerative abilities were waning. Closing his eyes Kanda let his head droop forward slightly trying to slow his breathing, as he heard Goz fall awkwardly to the floor behind him.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Kanda,… I-it was an accident. …Are you okay? I didn’t mean to-…” 

Kanda viciously slapped away the hand that landed on his shoulder, cutting Goz’s words off.  
“Don’t touch me!!” Kanda snarled with all the venom he could muster as he shoved the finder away, summoning hot rage to burn away the chill of fear that had run under his skin. 

Rising up on his knees Kanda grabbed the front of Goz’s shirt pulling him forward. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” growled Kanda through clenched teeth, ignoring the uneasy expression that came to Goz’s face as he cringed under the exorcist’s withering expression. Scoffing as Goz stammered out repeated apologies Kanda shoved Goz to the ground pinning the larger finder with his weight as his fingers clenched and unclenched restlessly in the fabric of the man’s Finders coat as he fought the urge to strangle him.  
Finally Kanda shoved at Goz once more before getting to his feet and storming off down the hall. 

 

The door to Komui’s office swung open abruptly, slamming back into the wall beside it with enough force to damage the plaster as Kanda stormed into the room his expression one of open fury. “This is the last straw Komui!! That worthless Finder has to go!” 

Startled by the sudden loud intrusion Komui flinched splashing a bit of his coffee from his mug onto the paperwork scattered across his desk. Snatching up a crumpled bit of scrap paper he attempted to dab it up from the rather important documents before it could soak them entirely as he looked up at Kanda, taking in the exorcist’s slightly disheveled appearance with a nonplussed expression. 

“Ah,… Kanda… won’t you come in?” said Komui with the barest hint of sarcasm as he set aside the damp scrap of paper, picking up the coffee dampened documents, waving them in the air in an attempt to dry them. “…You’ll have to be a bit more specific as to exactly who you’re talking about. What was this Finder’s name?” 

Kanda paused his lips drawing into a thin line as he tried to recall what the name of the Finder, who was currently acting as a thorn in his side, was. “I don’t know, he’s tall! Why would I bother remembering his name? …It was something like Gozl, or Gonzo or some shit. …I don’t care, just get rid of him!” 

“And is there some reason for this…?” asked Komui as he returned the only slightly drier papers to a relatively empty part of his desk where they could finish drying.

Kanda’s nose wrinkled in disgust, a sneer overtaking his face as he folded his arms across his chest. “…He keeps leaving food and junk outside my room.” 

“…What exactly is the problem with that?” questioned Komui raising an eyebrow as he looked across his desk at Kanda, giving every impression of being oblivious to why Kanda would be annoyed by such actions. “They sound a bit like gifts.”

Kanda’s eyes narrowed as he shot Komui a dark look. “Because then I have to get rid of it.” 

_‘And?...’_ Komui’s expression seemed to say as he gestured with one hand, motioning for Kanda to continue his explanation. 

“So this time when I go to get rid of it, he comes running up and tries to stop me.” snarled Kanda his lips pulling back from his teeth in an annoyed grimace as he recalled what had taken place little more than a handful of minutes ago. “The idiot almost made us both fall out a third floor window!!” 

That at least seemed to gain a moderately sensible reaction out of Komui, whose eyes widened a bit in surprise as he echoed Kanda’s shout in a softer, far more bewildered tone. “…-Out a window?” 

Huffing in frustration at just how long it was taking to get his point across, Kanda deigned to give Komui a rundown of what had happened over the past few months in more detail. After he had finally reached the end of the account a few minutes later Kanda’s eyes narrowed into a glare which he fixed on Komui who had begun chuckling while Kanda was explaining what had happened. 

“Aww,… it sounds like Kanda’s made a friend.” hummed Komui leaning forward over his desk in between stacks of paper work, with an excessively delighted expression, amusement glittering in his eyes. 

Kanda ground his teeth trying to suppress the urge to summarily execute the laughing idiot in front of him in a demonstration of pique before stepping over the bloodied corpse and dealing with the issue in a far less bureaucratic way than what he was currently attempting.  
“I’m serious Komui!” shouted Kanda his grip tightening further on Mugen’s hilt as his other hand shot out across the desk to grip Komui’s coat pulling him forward, part way across its surface. “Do something about him! Or I will!”

Komui paled a bit in response, as if he had somehow picked up on the blood thirsty nature of Kanda’s line of thought, his laughter withering to a nervous chuckle as he waved his hands in a placating gesture. “Ah-… ha… N-now Kanda, I’m sure that won’t be necessary. I’m sure something else can be worked out… just give me a little time to see what I can do, all right?” 

“Che,…” snapped Kanda derisively as he turned to leave Komui’s office, his ponytail flaring out behind him. “Fine, but you’d better figure something out quick Komui.” 

“…Right...” murmured Komui in an uncertain tone as the door to his office slammed closed behind Kanda. 

 

Weeks later Kanda stood, suitcase in hand, on a train platform waiting for the train that would carry him to his next mission. Since the beansprout could only make gates to places he had been before, and because some locations where Innocence or strange activity had been reported were too far out of the way to make it worth adding a gate, travel by train was still a necessity. It was less efficient than using the ark, and more time consuming as well, but in Kanda’s opinion there was still something to be said for them, especially if it meant more time without having to endure the presence of others.

“…-anda. …Mr. Kanda!” called a voice somehow managing to make itself heard over both the noise of the crowd on the platform, and the rumble of vehicles on the roads nearby, as well as the whistles and sounds of trains waiting to depart. 

The voice was one that Kanda had after the past few months, begun hoping to never hear again. He turned to see a movement in the crowd that indicated someone was making their way toward him. Kanda shot a slightly desperate glance toward the waiting trains debating jumping on the nearest one, even if it wasn’t headed toward his destination, simply for a place to escape and hide from the coming encounter. 

“Wait! …Mr. Kanda!” cried the voice once more as the crowd suddenly parted, allowing Goz to stumble into the empty space that surrounded where Kanda stood. Apparently the sudden lack of resistance happened too quickly for Goz as the momentum he had been using to push through the crowd sent him forward to slam into Kanda, knocking the exorcist off his feet as Goz landed on top of him. 

“Get off me!!” snarled Kanda as he writhed beneath the large finder, managing to wrench an arm free in order to press a sheathed Mugen against the other man’s throat until Goz had pushed himself upright enough for Kanda to slide out from under him. 

Once they had picked themselves up off the ground Goz continued speaking, beginning to explain himself as he and Kanda busied themselves brushing dirt from their clothing. “I-I’m sorry Mr. Kanda… But I’m really glad I ran into you here like this.” 

Kanda looked up his eyes narrowing in confusion, as he asked in spite of himself. “…Huh, why?” 

“…So I could say goodbye!” exclaimed Goz as he straightened from brushing off the hem of his Finder’s coat to look at Kanda. “I’ve been reassigned to the African branch, and I’m leaving today. That’s why I was here at the station… and I just happened to see you were here too.” 

Kanda grunted in response continuing to stare at Goz as the finder stood looking at him, seeming to be waiting for something. Finally Goz reached down to pick up his luggage, laughing awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck for a moment before shifting his suit case to his other hand. “Um,… a-anyway goodbye Mr. Kanda. …Even if it was only the one time, I’m really glad I had a chance to work with you.” said Goz as he thrust out his free hand toward Kanda. 

This time it was obvious to Kanda what the man wanted. He looked back and forth between Goz and his outstretched hand several times, as he debated internally before extending his own hand. A faint grimace twisted Kanda’s lips as he allowed Goz to grip his hand briefly before pulling away. 

A brilliant smile lit Goz’s face as Kanda withdrew his hand. “Gee,… I bet everyone at the African branch will be really interested when they find out I know such an amazing exorcist personally. I kind of can’t wait to tell them all about you.” The sound of a train’s whistle drew Goz’s attention away from Kanda and he turned to glance over his shoulder before starting to take his leave. “…That’s my train,… I’d better go.” said Goz as he began to walk away, turning back just before being reabsorbed by the crowd to wave, his arm moving in a large arc over his head. “…Bye Mr. Kanda!” 

Kanda watched for a moment as Goz retreated, then bent to pick up his suitcase, turning toward the train he would be traveling on as the conductor began to call for boarding. Kanda had boarded the train and taken a seat in his compartment as the train began to move before something Goz had said struck him. _…Wait a minute,… what exactly did that idiot mean when he said ...‘tell them all about you.'...?_  
While he never had figured out exactly how Goz had found out about his background, there was no doubt in Kanda’s mind that the reason for so many others in the European Branch also having found out about Kanda’s past lay solely with Goz’s inability to keep his mouth shut.

“That idiot.” muttered Kanda aloud an expression of mild annoyance twisting his features. The rumble of the trains wheels passing over the tracks grew louder with its increasing speed as Kanda wondered just how much trouble he would get into for blowing off his assigned mission in order to hunt down a certain finder before he could start spilling his guts.  
Kanda had half risen from his seat, already reaching up to pull his suitcase down from the overhead rack before pausing. Given the man’s apparent persistence, which Kanda had had multiple displays of by now, anything he did to try to silence Goz short of actually killing him would probably fail. 

_…It’s not like he won’t be far enough away from now on to be less of a pain already… and I guess for a useless Finder he wasn’t that bad, for the most part…_ thought Kanda grudgingly after having stood motionless for several minutes. Pushing his suitcase back into the rack Kanda lowered himself down onto the bench seat before leaning back against the plush fabric behind him with a huff, folding his arms across his chest. _…It’s not worth the effort of chasing him down..._

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on twitter as [ RennarenofAO3, ](https://twitter.com/RennarenofAO3)or on Tumblr also at [RennarenofAO3.](https://rennarenofao3.tumblr.com/)


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